Don’t judge people by hearsay

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Being judged based on rumours is painfull

Doing things wrong can hurt your self-esteem, but even worse it can impact your relationship with others and even people that you don’t know yet. Does this sound scary? That only one mistake can impact your future?

Consider the previous example next time you judge someone by what others tell about them. It could be said because they are angry on each other, the person spreading the rumour is someone talking bad about everyone or just someone who keeps dwelling on the past. Everyone deserves your time so you can get to know them before you decide whether or not to like them. If what has been said is true then they still deserve a second chance. Everyone makes mistakes if that would mean no one could be in contact with them everyone on the planet would be lonely.

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. – Henry James

When the hearsay is actually true this doesn’t make it correct to abandon them especially if you haven’t even met them yet. Because some problems are made in combination by mutual faults of the persons involved. For example when a company is looking for a senior employee with a nice amount of experience but they end up hiring you. as a junior straight from school. You will be slower at your work and potentially even get fired. But the fault wasn’t yours. They had to invest in on the job education. People bad mouthing about your first job is of no importance. You still deserve a chance aslong as you are willing to learn and improve.

People don’t always make the same mistake twice. So if they did something wrong they might never do it again. For example your friend bought a new car on loan while you warned them to not do it considerig their lack of savings. From that point onwards, especially when they suddenly need money they will think twice to do it again. Don’t dwell on someone’s fault and give them a second chance.

After getting to know the other person and figuring out if they make the same mistake again you can judge them. Only do this to decide whether or not you want to remain in contact with them. Don’t start to say bad things about them, not even when you only have to agree with someone else. Take your distance and allow them to get better in the future.